Some of the dumb laws still on the books in Michigan carry real penalties: selling a car on Sunday is a misdemeanor, adultery is technically a felony, and a train conductor can arrest you for being drunk on board. Most of these statutes survive because repealing a law takes the same legislative work as passing one, and clearing out embarrassing relics rarely wins floor time.
You Can’t Buy or Sell a Car on Sunday
Michigan prohibits buying, selling, trading, or even negotiating the sale of a motor vehicle on a Sunday. The ban covers new and used cars and applies in any county with more than 130,000 residents, which sweeps in every major metro area in the state.1Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 435.251 – Sale of Motor Vehicles on Sunday Smaller rural counties are exempt.
A violation is a misdemeanor. A court can hand down a fine, jail time, or both, and it can also suspend or revoke a dealer’s license.2Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 435.253 – Sale of Motor Vehicles on Sunday That licensing threat is what keeps showroom floors in Detroit, Grand Rapids, and other large cities dark every Sunday.
Adultery Is a Felony
Michigan defines adultery as sexual intercourse between two people when one of them is married to someone else.3Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.29 – Adultery Definition The penal code classifies that act as a felony.4Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.30 – Adultery Punishment The statute doesn’t spell out a sentence, so the default felony penalty applies: up to four years in prison, a fine of up to $5,000, or both.5Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.503 – Unclassified Felonies
Prosecution comes with hard limits. Only the offended spouse can file the complaint, and it has to be filed within one year of the act.6Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.31 – Adultery Complaint and Time of Prosecution Modern prosecutors almost never pursue the charge, and constitutional scholars have questioned whether the statute could survive a challenge after the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 decision in Lawrence v. Texas, which struck down laws criminalizing private consensual sexual conduct. No Michigan court has formally invalidated the statute, though, so it remains enforceable on paper.
The Crime of “Seduction”
A separate provision makes it a felony for a man to “seduce and debauch” an unmarried woman. The maximum sentence is five years in prison or a fine of up to $2,500, and any prosecution must start within one year of the offense.7Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.532 – Seduction Punishment The statute dates to an era when a woman’s perceived virtue was treated as a legally protectable interest, and the language reflects that. It applies only to male defendants and only to unmarried female complainants, a framework that would face obvious equal-protection challenges today. Like the adultery felony, it has not been formally repealed or struck down.
Blasphemy and Profanity
Michigan technically makes it a misdemeanor to “wilfully blaspheme the holy name of God.”8Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.102 – Blasphemy Punishment A separate statute criminalizes profanely cursing or swearing by the name of God, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Ghost, with a tight catch: prosecution must begin within five days of the offense.9Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.103 – Cursing and Swearing Neither statute specifies a penalty, so the default misdemeanor punishment applies: up to 90 days in jail, a fine of up to $500, or both.10Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.504 – Unclassified Misdemeanors
These laws are almost certainly unenforceable. The First Amendment bars the government from punishing speech based on its religious content, and no modern prosecutor would risk bringing a blasphemy charge. The statutes remain in the penal code because nobody has bothered to repeal them.
Getting Drunk on a Train
A 1913 law makes it illegal to board or remain on a railway train or interurban car while in an “offensive state of intoxication.”11Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 436.201 – Drunkenness on Train Prohibited The penalty is a fine of up to $100, up to 90 days in jail, or both.12Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 436.205 – Violation Penalty
The enforcement mechanism is what makes this one strange. The train conductor has the same arrest authority as a police officer. A conductor can arrest an intoxicated passenger without a warrant, summon bystanders to help, seize any liquor the person is carrying, and hand the passenger over to law enforcement at the next station.13Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 436.203 – Conductor Arrest Authority The conductor must even write a receipt for any confiscated alcohol. The law was written when interurban rail was a primary mode of transportation across Michigan, and it has never been updated for modern transit.
Detroit’s Whistle Rules
Detroit’s noise ordinance regulates steam and compressed-air whistles in oddly specific ways. Steamboat captains cannot blow a whistle while approaching or leaving a city wharf unless it signals danger. Locomotive engineers cannot whistle to signal other trains except where state law requires it. Factory whistles marking the start or end of a shift cannot blow for longer than five seconds. Siren whistles are banned outright.14Noise Free. Detroit, Michigan Noise Regulations The rules read as a portrait of an industrial port city where the constant shriek of whistles was apparently a serious enough nuisance to regulate in detail.
Some Old Laws Have Been Cleared
Not every outdated Michigan law has survived. For over a century, Michigan made it a misdemeanor to use indecent, immoral, obscene, vulgar, or insulting language within the hearing of any woman or child. The legislature finally repealed it in 2015, driven by First Amendment concerns.15Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.337 – Repealed
Michigan’s disorderly persons statute also listed “a person found begging in a public place” as a criminal offense.16Michigan Legislature. Michigan Compiled Laws 750.167 – Disorderly Persons A federal appeals court struck that provision down as unconstitutional in Speet v. Schuette, holding that peaceful panhandling is protected speech. The language technically remains in the statute text but cannot be enforced.
Why These Laws Stick Around
Michigan has a body dedicated to cleaning up exactly these kinds of statutes. The Michigan Law Revision Commission reviews the state’s legal code for what it calls “defects and anachronisms” and recommends changes to eliminate antiquated rules. Since 1967, its recommendations have led to the passage of more than 120 Michigan statutes.17Michigan Legislature. Michigan Law Revision Commission Fifty-First Annual Report 2020
Even with that process in place, the backlog is large. Repealing a law requires a bill, committee hearings, floor votes in both chambers, and the governor’s signature. That is the same process used to pass major new legislation, so cleaning up an embarrassing relic rarely wins the competition for floor time. Statutes like the blasphemy and seduction laws persist not because anyone defends them, but because no one has made removing them a priority.