To set up child custody mediation in North Carolina, you file a custody case with the Clerk of Superior Court in the county where the child lives; once the pleadings show a contested custody or visitation issue, the court automatically refers both parents to the state’s Child Custody and Visitation Mediation Program. You don’t file a separate mediation request. The program is free, and it runs in two steps: an orientation class followed by a mediation session of up to two hours.
File the Custody Case First
Mediation is triggered by a custody filing, not by a standalone request. You start with a Complaint for Child Custody filed with the Clerk of Superior Court in the county where the child lives. The complaint should include each parent’s full legal name and address, the children’s names and dates of birth, and the custody arrangement you’re asking the court to order. If a case involving the same family is already open, include that case number so the clerk can link the filings.
There is a filing fee to open a new custody case. One North Carolina judicial district lists the fee at $150, and the amount can vary slightly by county and by whether you’re joining other claims to the custody complaint.1North Carolina Judicial Branch. Judicial District 1 Complaint for Custody and/or Visitation If you can’t afford the fee, you can ask the court to waive it by filing a Petition to Proceed as an Indigent, form AOC-G-106.2North Carolina Judicial Branch. Petition to Proceed as an Indigent
Serve the Other Parent
After filing, the other parent has to be formally served under North Carolina Rule of Civil Procedure 4. You cannot hand the papers to them yourself.3North Carolina Judicial Branch. Rule 4: How Do I Serve the Other Party with My Summons and Complaint? The most common method is having the county sheriff deliver the summons and complaint, at a fee of $30 per person served under state statute.4North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 7A-311 – Uniform Civil Process Fees Certified mail with a return receipt is another option. Once served, the other parent has 30 days to respond.
How the Mediation Referral Reaches You
Under N.C.G.S. 50-13.1, any case with a contested custody or visitation issue is sent to the mediation program before or at the same time the court schedules a hearing.5North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 50-13.1 – Action or Proceeding for Custody of Minor Child Once the court sees a contested issue in the pleadings, it issues a mediation order directing both parents to the program.6North Carolina Judicial Branch. Child Custody and Visitation Mediation Program The order typically arrives by mail within a few weeks of filing. After that, the mediation office contacts both parents with scheduling information.
Complete the Orientation
Orientation comes before the mediation session and has to be finished before that session can be scheduled. It covers how the session will run, what the mediator’s role is, and how to keep the conversation focused on the children rather than on old conflicts. North Carolina offers orientation online through the courts’ website, so you can complete it from home on your own schedule.7North Carolina Judicial Branch. Child Custody Mediation Orientation Training Both the orientation and the mediation session are free.8North Carolina Judicial Branch. Custody Mediation
Attend the Mediation Session
The session lasts up to two hours. A trained mediator sits down with both parents and helps them work through schedules, holidays, school breaks, and decision-making responsibilities. The mediator doesn’t take sides, doesn’t make recommendations, and doesn’t decide anything. If more time is needed, the mediator can schedule an additional session at their discretion when both parents agree.8North Carolina Judicial Branch. Custody Mediation
This is not a preview of trial. You don’t need to bring evidence, exhibits, or witnesses. The point is to negotiate a workable arrangement, not to prove anyone right.
What Stays Confidential
Under the statute, neither the mediator nor either parent can testify about communications made during the session, and those communications are inadmissible in court. That protection lets parents speak openly. It has limits, though. Confidentiality doesn’t cover statements made in furtherance of a crime or fraud, and it doesn’t override the legal duty to report suspected child abuse or neglect. A mediator who hears something triggering mandatory reporting must act on it regardless of the mediation context.5North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 50-13.1 – Action or Proceeding for Custody of Minor Child
When Mediation Can Be Waived
Mediation is the default, but it isn’t right for every family. A judge can waive the requirement for good cause. Recognized grounds include allegations of domestic violence between the parents, abuse or neglect of the child, alcoholism or drug abuse, and severe psychological or emotional problems affecting either parent.5North Carolina General Assembly. North Carolina Code 50-13.1 – Action or Proceeding for Custody of Minor Child Living more than 50 miles from the courthouse also qualifies. Either parent can file a motion asking to skip mediation, or the court can waive it on its own. The form to use is the Motion and Order to Waive Custody Mediation, available through the courts’ website.9North Carolina Judicial Branch. Motion and Order to Waive Custody Mediation If safety is a concern, raise the issue early so you aren’t forced into a room with the other parent.
Disability Accommodations
If a disability affects your ability to participate in orientation or the session, the court is required to provide accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act. That can include sign language interpreters, real-time captioning, assistive listening devices, or physical accessibility adjustments, at no cost to you. Contact the mediation office or the clerk’s office as early as possible, because arranging an interpreter or specialized equipment takes lead time.
After the Session: Agreement or No Agreement
If you reach an agreement, the mediator helps you put it in writing as a parenting agreement. It spells out the weekly schedule, holiday rotations, school-break arrangements, transportation, and how major decisions about the child’s education or medical care will be handled. Both parents sign it and it goes to a district court judge for approval. Once the judge signs, the parenting agreement becomes an enforceable custody order carrying the same legal weight as any other.
If mediation doesn’t produce an agreement, no one is penalized. One of the parties will then need to schedule the case for a trial hearing before a judge.8North Carolina Judicial Branch. Custody Mediation Hiring an attorney at that point is strongly recommended if you haven’t already. Attorneys often negotiate a settlement between a failed mediation and the trial date, which avoids a contested hearing. If no settlement happens, the judge hears testimony from both sides and decides custody based on the child’s best interests. The mediator does not tell the judge what happened in your session, what either parent proposed, or who was more cooperative. Confidentiality applies fully even when mediation fails, and you walk into the courtroom with a clean slate.