Not responding to child custody papers in California hands the decision to the other parent. You have 30 days from the date you were served to file a response, and if that deadline passes, the other parent can ask the court to enter a default. Once that happens, the judge can decide custody, visitation, and child support based entirely on what the petition asked for, without hearing from you at all.
The 30-Day Clock Starts the Day You’re Served
Service of the Petition for Custody and Support starts a 30-day countdown. File your response with the court inside that window and you stay in the case as an equal participant. Miss it, and the other parent gains the right to proceed without you.
The court doesn’t send reminders. There’s no grace period built into the rule. If you’re unsure whether you were properly served, or whether the clock has actually started, that question itself is worth bringing to the court clerk or a family law self-help center before the 30 days run out.1California Courts. Respond to Petition for Custody and Support
How a Default Gets Entered
After 30 days with nothing filed from you, the other parent submits a Request to Enter Default (Form FL-165) to the clerk. The form tells the court you were properly served and never answered. Once the clerk processes it, the default is official and your right to file a response is cut off.2California Courts. Request to Enter Default
The petitioning parent then requests a hearing date, or in some cases asks the judge to rule on the paperwork alone. You will not be notified of the hearing. Only the parent who filed knows when it’s scheduled, and the orders that come out of it are based entirely on what they submitted.1California Courts. Respond to Petition for Custody and Support
What the Judge Can Order Without You
When only one side appears, the judge works from one side’s facts. The orders usually track what the petition requested, because no competing version exists. That can include:
- Sole legal and physical custody to the other parent, giving them exclusive authority over the child’s health, education, and welfare, and full-time residence.
- Restricted visitation, supervised visits only, or no visitation, if the petition raises safety concerns.
- Child support calculated on imputed income. If the court doesn’t have your actual earnings, it can estimate what you’re capable of earning based on your work history, skills, education, health, and the local job market, then set support from that figure.3California Legislative Information. California Family Code 4058
- Custodial status for tax purposes. The parent granted sole physical custody is generally the custodial parent for federal taxes and claims the child as a dependent, unless they sign a release (IRS Form 8332) to the other parent.4Internal Revenue Service. Dependents 3
The imputed income piece catches many parents off guard. California gives judges wide latitude. If you previously earned $80,000 and now claim to be unemployed with nothing to back it up, the court can order support reflecting what you could be earning rather than what you say you make. Appearing with accurate financial information is the only way the number gets calculated against your actual circumstances.
Does the Best-Interests Standard Still Protect You?
Partly. California law requires every custody decision to serve the child’s best interests, even in a default. The judge weighs the child’s health, safety, and welfare, any history of abuse, each parent’s relationship with the child, and any substance abuse concerns.5California Legislative Information. California Family Code 3011 And the law doesn’t favor either parent at the start; both begin with equal custody rights, and the court has broad discretion to order joint or sole custody based on what fits the child.6California Legislative Information. California Family Code 3040
The limit is obvious. When you don’t appear, the judge only has the other parent’s version. If the petition describes you unfavorably and nothing contradicts it, the best-interests analysis runs on their facts. The protection exists, but it is thin when the record is one-sided.
Getting a Default Judgment Set Aside
If a default has already been entered against you, California offers several ways to ask the court to undo it and reopen the case. Each has its own deadline and its own showing.
Mistake, Surprise, or Excusable Neglect
The most common route is a motion under Code of Civil Procedure Section 473(b). You ask the court to set aside the default because your failure to respond was caused by honest mistake, surprise, or excusable neglect — meaning something that would have tripped up a reasonably careful person. Serious illness, a family emergency, or genuine confusion about the deadline can qualify. Simple forgetfulness or deciding to ignore the papers generally will not. File within six months of the date the default was entered, and attach the response you intend to file if relief is granted.7California Legislative Information. California Code of Civil Procedure 473
You Never Actually Received the Papers
If service never reached you — maybe it went to an old address, or papers were left with someone who never gave them to you — Code of Civil Procedure Section 473.5 is the path. You must show that the service method didn’t give you actual notice in time to respond, and that your lack of notice wasn’t caused by deliberately avoiding service. The window is longer: up to two years after entry of the default judgment, or 180 days after you receive written notice that the default exists, whichever comes first.8California Legislative Information. California Code of Civil Procedure 473.5
Fraud, Perjury, or Duress
Family Code Section 2122 provides additional grounds specific to family law judgments. If the other parent committed fraud that kept you out of the case, lied under oath in their financial disclosures, or obtained the judgment through duress, you can challenge the judgment. Fraud and perjury claims must be filed within one year of discovery. Duress and mental incapacity claims allow up to two years from entry of the judgment.9California Legislative Information. California Family Code 2122
None of these are automatic. You need to show both a valid reason for missing the deadline and a legitimate defense you would have raised. Courts also look at how fast you moved once you learned about the default. Waiting hurts.
If You’re on Active Military Duty
Federal law gives servicemembers an extra layer of protection. Under 50 USC Section 3931, before a court can enter a default judgment in a custody proceeding, the filing parent must submit an affidavit stating whether the other parent is in military service. If you’re on active duty, the court cannot enter default until it appoints an attorney to represent your interests.10Office of the Law Revision Counsel. 50 USC 3931 – Protection of Servicemembers Against Default Judgments
If a default judgment is entered against you during active duty or within 60 days after release from service, the court must reopen the case on your request. The appointed attorney cannot waive your defenses or bind you to outcomes you didn’t agree to. These protections come from federal law and apply in any state’s family court.
When Every Set-Aside Deadline Has Passed
If the windows under 473(b), 473.5, and 2122 have all closed, one option remains: a motion to modify custody. This doesn’t undo the old order. It asks the court to change the arrangement going forward based on new circumstances.
California requires a significant change in circumstances since the existing order was entered before the court will consider modifying it. Stabilized housing, completed substance abuse treatment, or a move closer to the child can qualify. Minor lifestyle shifts or disagreements over parenting style will not. If the court agrees the threshold is met, it runs a fresh best-interests analysis.5California Legislative Information. California Family Code 3011
Modification is slower and harder than responding on time. You’re starting from an existing order that gave the other parent most of what they asked for, and the burden is on you to prove enough has changed to justify something different. That’s the practical cost of letting the 30 days run out.