A request for order is a formal application asking a family law judge to issue binding decisions on specific issues while a divorce, parentage, or separation case is still pending. Either party can file one at any point during the case, and the orders the judge issues are enforceable the moment they’re made. Some courts use different names — “Motion for Temporary Orders” is common — but the function is the same: it’s how you get a judge to decide something that can’t wait for the final judgment.
What You Can Ask the Judge to Decide
Most requests for order deal with children, money, or property. The common ones:
- Child custody and a temporary parenting schedule
- Child support while the case is pending
- Temporary spousal support for a lower-earning spouse
- Attorney’s fees, especially where there’s an income gap between the parties
- Exclusive use of the family home or a vehicle, or orders preventing a spouse from selling or draining shared assets
- Domestic violence restraining orders
- Modification of an existing temporary order when circumstances have materially changed
What ties these together is urgency. A final judgment can be months or years away, and families need workable rules in the meantime. Once a judge signs a temporary order, violating it carries the same consequences as violating any other court order.
Emergency and Ex Parte Requests
Standard requests follow a timeline that gives both sides weeks to prepare. When a child faces immediate physical danger — abuse, neglect, a credible abduction threat, or a parent whose substance abuse makes them unsafe — that timeline is too slow. In those situations, you can file an emergency request, often called an ex parte application, asking the judge to act before the other party has a chance to respond.
The bar is high. Judges grant ex parte orders only when waiting for a normal hearing would expose a child to serious harm. You’ll need a sworn written statement describing the emergency in specific, factual detail, supported by evidence: police reports, medical records, photographs, protective services reports, or statements from witnesses with firsthand knowledge. Vague claims of bad parenting won’t get you there.
If the judge grants an emergency order, it takes effect immediately, but it’s short-lived by design. The court will schedule a full hearing, typically within a few weeks, where the other parent can respond. You’ll need to have the emergency order and the hearing notice formally served on the other parent right away. At the follow-up hearing, the judge decides whether to extend, modify, or dissolve the order based on what both sides present.
What You Need to File
The Request Form and Your Declaration
The central document is the request form itself, available from your local court’s website or clerk’s office. On it, you specify exactly what orders you want — concrete requests the judge can grant or deny, not general wishes. Alongside the form, you file a written declaration: a sworn statement laying out the facts that justify what you’re asking for.
Your declaration is often the most important document in the packet, because it’s where the judge learns your story. Write it based on what you personally saw, heard, or experienced. Be specific about dates, events, and details rather than making broad characterizations. “He yelled at the children during the May 15 exchange and refused to return them until I called the police” is far more useful than “He is an angry and uncooperative parent.” Many courts impose page limits, so every sentence has to earn its place.
You can also submit declarations from other people with relevant firsthand knowledge — a teacher who witnessed concerning behavior, a family member present during an incident. The witness must describe what they personally observed, and the statement must be signed under penalty of perjury.
Financial Disclosures
Any request involving money — child support, spousal support, attorney’s fees — requires a detailed financial disclosure, typically called an Income and Expense Declaration. You’ll report all income (wages, self-employment, investments, government benefits, rental income), attach recent pay stubs, and list your monthly expenses in detail: housing, utilities, groceries, childcare, insurance, transportation, debts. You’ll also disclose assets, including bank accounts, investments, and property values.
Courts take these seriously. An incomplete or obviously inaccurate financial statement undermines your credibility. Gather pay stubs, tax returns, bank statements, and bills before you start the form.
Custody-Specific Paperwork
If your request involves custody, most courts require a jurisdictional declaration under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA). Adopted in all 50 states, the UCCJEA prevents conflicting custody orders by giving primary jurisdiction to the child’s “home state” — generally where the child has lived for the last six consecutive months. It helps to attach a proposed parenting schedule showing the specific arrangement you want the judge to order.
Filing and Serving the Other Party
Bring the originals and at least two copies of your completed forms to the court clerk’s office. The clerk stamps everything, keeps the originals for the court file, and returns your stamped copies. You’ll pay a filing fee at this point, usually somewhere between $20 and $80 for a motion in an existing family law case, though the amount varies by jurisdiction. If you can’t afford it, apply for a fee waiver. The clerk also assigns a hearing date, time, and courtroom, and that date drives every deadline that follows.
After filing, you must formally notify the other party by delivering the papers through a process called service. You cannot do this yourself. The papers must be handed over by someone over 18 who isn’t involved in the case: a professional process server, a county sheriff’s office, or a friend willing to do the job.
The server delivers a complete set of your filed documents along with any blank response forms the other party will need. Service has to happen within a strict timeframe set by your jurisdiction’s rules, commonly between 14 and 21 days before the hearing for personal delivery. Once the papers are handed over, the server fills out and signs a proof of service documenting when, where, and how. You’re responsible for filing that proof with the court before your hearing. Without it, the judge may refuse to proceed.
If the other party can’t be found or actively avoids service, courts allow alternatives, but only after you show genuine effort to serve them personally. You’ll file a sworn statement from the process server describing the failed attempts, then ask the judge for permission to use another method. Options vary by state and commonly include leaving the papers with another adult at the person’s home or workplace, service by mail with court approval, or publishing a legal notice in a newspaper. Some courts have authorized service through social media, though judges set a high bar for proving the account actually belongs to the person.
Responding If One Is Filed Against You
Ignoring a request for order is one of the worst moves you can make. You have the right to file a written response, often called a responsive declaration, telling the judge your side. You can agree with some requests, dispute others, and present the facts supporting your position. If financial issues are involved, you’ll file your own income and expense declaration too.
Response deadlines are tight. Most jurisdictions require the response to be filed and served on the other party at least seven to nine court days before the hearing. Miss it and the judge may decide based solely on what the other side submitted.
Many people don’t realize that responding is also an opportunity. In most jurisdictions, your response can include your own counter-requests on the same issues the other party raised. If they asked for a specific custody schedule and you want a different one, lay out your preferred arrangement. If they asked for support and you believe you’re the one entitled to it, make that case. The limitation is that counter-requests generally must address the same issues the original filing raised; for anything unrelated, you’d file a separate request of your own.
Mediation Before a Custody Hearing
If your request involves custody or visitation, expect mediation before the hearing. A majority of states require parents to attempt mediation on custody issues before the court will hold a hearing. The mediator is typically a court-appointed mental health professional trained in child development and family dynamics, acting as a neutral facilitator rather than an advocate for either side.
Mediation covers custody and visitation only. The mediator won’t address child support, spousal support, or property. If you reach an agreement, the mediator writes it up and submits it to the judge for approval, and once signed it becomes a court order. If you can’t agree, the case moves to a hearing.
Safety concerns don’t excuse you from mediation, but they change how it works. If domestic violence is an issue, tell the mediator immediately. Most courts will accommodate separate sessions, staggered arrival times, or similar arrangements. Don’t bring your children; this is a process for the adults.
The Hearing
By the time you walk into the courtroom, the judge has already read everything both sides filed: the request, the response, the financial disclosures, and every attached declaration. Oral argument is brief, usually just a few minutes per side. The judge may ask pointed questions to clarify facts or test credibility. Come prepared to answer directly rather than repeating what’s in your paperwork.
In most cases, the judge rules at the end of the hearing. The result is a set of temporary orders that are immediately enforceable. One party, usually the one who prevailed, drafts a formal written order reflecting the ruling; the other side reviews it, and once it accurately captures what the judge ordered, it goes to the judge for signature.
What Happens If You Skip the Hearing
Not showing up doesn’t make the case go away. If you’re the respondent and you do nothing, the judge will likely grant the other party’s requests based on their paperwork alone, and you’ll be bound by orders you had no input in shaping. Changing them later requires filing your own motion and showing good cause for modification, a much harder path than responding in the first place.
If you’re the one who filed and you miss the hearing, the court may take the matter off the calendar, forcing you to start over. Some courts will dismiss the request outright. Either way, you lose the hearing date and the fees you paid for it.
Enforcing a Temporary Order
A temporary order carries the full weight of any court order. If the other party ignores it, you can ask the court to hold them in contempt. Contempt is quasi-criminal, and the consequences are real: fines, jail time, or both.
To win a contempt motion, you generally need to prove three things: a valid, specific court order existed; the other party knew about it; and they willfully violated it. “Willfully” is the key word. If someone genuinely cannot comply, that’s a defense. But if they’re paying rent, car payments, and entertainment expenses while claiming they can’t afford court-ordered support, judges see through that. For unpaid child support in particular, additional enforcement tools are available in every state, including wage garnishment, tax refund interception, and license suspension.
How Long Temporary Orders Last
Temporary orders stay in effect until one of three things happens: the court modifies them based on a new request showing changed circumstances, the parties reach a settlement the court approves, or the case goes to trial and a final judgment replaces them. Depending on how long your case takes to resolve, temporary orders can govern your life for months or even years. They don’t expire on their own. If neither party acts and the case stalls, the temporary orders keep running the show, which is one reason getting them right the first time matters so much.